Post by Cass Baumer on Apr 7, 2017 1:32:57 GMT
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Let's fuckin' go!
Cecily — a woman who had zero interest in even coming back decided to call FAW her playground so she could fish her discarded opportunity at the FAW Showcase Championship out of the garbage. She should've jumped in herself - she's trash.
When I walked away from competition for a while, I wouldn't have taken a massive dump on the legacy of the FAW Showcase Championship like she did. I left because I knew I had nothing to offer wrestling at the time. I left because I wasn't ready, and now that I'm back? The Fuckin' Awesome Hardcore Championship isn't over my shoulder for nothing.
Cecily's too busy tweeting pictures of herself and acting like a badass to have respect for a championship. She came back on a whim, and now that she won a match, she thinks she's hot shit.
And I know what everyone's going to say: You'll say I'm a worthless cunt who doesn't even deserve to hold the Fuckin Awesome Hardcore Championship. You'll say I lack 'integrity,' and to that, I say welcome to 2017 — integrity's been dead for a long time now.
I don't give a fuck what you have to say. The results speak for themselves, and Ana Valentine gave me a nice paycheck for achieving exactly what she wanted me to accomplish, and that's more than Cecily will ever be able to say.
Watch her become number one contender again and then bail out, though. I'm not sure whether that would be funny as hell or soul crushingly sad.
Are you 'annoyed,' Cecily? Nobody cares.
And you know what else? I don't have to pin Julian Savell. I don't need to make the Fuckin' Awesome Champion tap. He's predictable as fuck just like Paz said a couple weeks back but you know what else is predictable?
He'll send you to the fucking hospital when you're not ready; I don't underestimate him that much.
I hope you're ready, Adam. I want you to distract Julian for me, tag team partner o' mine! Just be yourself, and I'm sure he'll take the bait.
Do you understand? I'm— We're going to beat Cecily and reap the benefits of beating the Fuckin' Awesome Champion by association.
You know just as much as everyone else that Cecily isn't even in the same league as Cali-Kate, don't you? And to think I beat Kate so bad that she attended a funeral recently. It was all over Twitter!
Rest in peace, Cali-Kate's career. You died when a piece of shit ex-reporter managed to take the one thing that kept Kate in the public eye — the championship. Now nobody will ever take Kate seriously. Sad.
On the unlikely chance that Plan A fails, I'll just picture Julian naked to boost my confidence. I'll remember the time where Livi T. Taylor made him look like a miserable little bitch when she broke up with him for Wolfe — a guy that disappeared overnight a couple of months later. I'll think about the fact that now she's married to the least talented Gregory brother instead of even considering getting back together with Julian.
I know that behind the legend of Julian Savell is a man, yes — a man so pathetic that he couldn't even get a coke whore to stay by his side.
Do you want to send me to the hospital? Do you want to punish me for telling the truth? I might just die of boredom when I watch your promo, so there's that. I mean we already know how it'll go.
You'll just piss all over my win like it doesn't mean jack shit, call me a rookie and all around bury my credibility into the ground. You'll taunt me for being a hardcore wrestler just like Cecily did, but we both know I'm not a one-trick pony. Keep telling lies to make yourself feel better — it's worked great for you so far — and I'll still get a nice paycheck for technically beating the Fuckin' Awesome Champion once I pin Cecily's shoulders to the mat.
Oh, you wanna call me a coward? Should I be ashamed that I'm thinking about this match rationally?
No.
Even if you refuse to tag, it still leaves us with a two on one advantage.
What's it going to be, Julian? Test your luck by tagging in the girl who'll get pinned easier than Cali-Kate at the end of the orgy of violence fivesome we had at Ides of March, or will it be a makeshift handicap match?
Either way, this ends worse than your failed relationship with Livi.
What will people think when they see you beaten by a couple of jokes like Adam and me?
I'm willing to bet you'll be attending a funeral too.